Doubting Myself

That's a horrible thing to say, but it's true. Lately I have been dealing with the horror that is self doubt. Most of it is born from the fact that I'm struggling with a novel. One that I have started a number of times, toyed with it, added scenes, removed some, etc, etc. The problem now is that I have become stuck. And that crack allowed the voice of doubt in.

What if my failure to finish a novel is because I simply can't carry a story that long? Isn't that a troubling thought? It keeps bouncing around in my mind, chipping away at my confidence and leaving me afraid to attempt another novel.

But I forge on because this is what I live for, this is my passion. So I get around to trying to outline a handful of stories, some of which need to be done sooner rather than later. One of which is a novel with an idea I absolutely love (and allow me to toot my own horn, I think it might be an awesome movie).

BAM!

There's that stupid little doubty voice again. Then it hits me. You know why I struggle with my novels? The antagonist. This is my weak point. Figuring out who is responsible, why they do it, etc. Novels need conflict. The protagonist is useless without the antagonist. So why can't I find my culprit? Why do I struggle with this side of the story?

Perhaps that's why I work so well in romance. It's not so much a matter of an antagonist but a misunderstanding that can create some tension in the story.

Still, I'm going to keep trying. I have to. Even if it means driving myself (and everyone else) crazy. There's this notebook that I have, like every author, filled with ideas that deserve at least an attempt at seeing the light of day.

Anyway...

For the end of the month I'm seeking to finish 3 short stories (all romance), 3 novellas (2 romance, 1 scifi), a middle grade novel (light fantasy), and getting a good foundation on the above mentioned uber cool novel (scifi).

I also want to point out that this is coming out soon... So anyone that loves Samuel and Flynn, there's a new story waiting to be devoured!
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